I’ve made this decision a while ago, but I’ve decided to share the news via my blog that I will no longer will be writing. Shocker right? Truth be told, I will always love the written word, and I know I have the talent and skills to continue, but honestly my health is declining to the point that I no longer have the desire or the mental energy to focus on it like I should. Writing has become a chore instead of a joy. Even in the difficult times, when I couldn’t figure out a plot point or I was frustrated about not having an agent, writing was always a joy for me. But now it isn’t. I have sickle-cell anemia and my illness leaves me in pain most days, and the mental energy it takes to not cry or scream about it has taken it’s toll. I thought I would be sad about this, but mostly I just feel relieved. Relieved that I’ve finally admitted that I just can’t do it anymore. It takes a lot of humility to realize your limitations. And truth be told, when you are struggling to walk and get out of the bed in the morning, the last thing on your mind is sitting down and plotting a story out. I have a daughter I need to take care of, and a husband I love deeply. In the end, my relationships with the people I know, and not the ones I create in my head, became more important. I may have many years ahead of me. Realistically though, I may not. So I don’t want to spend another day, another late night, in pain on the computer. I want to spend it with the people I love and that love me back. I want to spend it with the people that need me.
Writing has been a wonderful journey. Writing gave me so much, and taught me so much. But I don’t need it anymore. And I’m okay with it, and I need anyone who stumbles on this little blog of mine to be okay with it too. Thanks for being a part of this wonderful journey with me!