I want to act like a pimple faced 13 year old and shout that if my book doesn’t get published then I’ll just die. Literally. Just. Die.

But that’s happened already. I’ve written a book that didn’t sell, and hold on let me check—yep, my heart is still pumping. The sun shined the next day and life went on.

So yes, I am pretty nervous about whether or not this book will publish. People don’t realize how hard you work to make another world on paper. And to make that world come alive and become real? That’s a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, my friends. I have confidence that it will sell, that this is my best work yet, but I still hear a small voice in the back of my head… “What if?” “What if this book isn’t good enough? What will you do then?”

“Same thing, I do every day Pinky. Try to take over the world.” (Pinky and the Brain was one of my favorite cartoons growing up, sue me.)

Basically, I would do the same thing I’m doing now. Write the next book. As much as I want this work validated by my peers and readers, as much as I don’t want this book to grow dust on a shelf, (or in my filing cabinet) I know that writer’s write. And if this book makes the rounds and no one bites it doesn’t mean I failed. Because being published doesn’t mean I succeeded. Writing and finishing a book—that is what deems success to me. Sitting a desk when no one asks you to, when no one is watching and pounding out the words day in, day out—that’s my idea of success.

So I’m nervous. I know that’s normal. But at the end of the day, I know no matter what, I’m doing what I love. And how many people can say that?

I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be published, and here I am–a published lady. Little ‘ole Katrina Spencer is an author. Wow. (Yeah, and it only took six months to sink in.)

It’s easy to get caught up into the business side of writing, the constant promotion, the anticipation of your first review, trying to get your book into the hands of readers. But how often do we sit down and think, “Wow, I got a book published. Ain’t that something?”

At that doctor’s office I got my,‘Wow’ moment. Anybody else want to tell me when it finally felt real to them?

If you’re the only one who thinks your book is good, but everyone else disagrees, is it still good?

I don’t know.

 My second manuscript is not doing as well as I had hoped. I love this book.   But for now, I will have to put it on hold.  It breaks my heart, yet it’s something I have to do.

I’ve always heard of other writers who had a manuscript or two in their desk somewhere that they couldn’t sell.  I considered myself fortunate to have my first book published, so I reasoned that my next book would be easier.  How wrong I was!  No one was interested in my second manuscript. I got no nibbles, no bites, nothing.  I was disappointed, yes, but I had to keep going.  Writers write.  And so that’s what I did.  I wrote another book.

And this time my editor liked it.  I have an extensive rewrite to do, but I’m glad I didn’t sit around and wait for my other manuscript to sell.  I would be still waiting.

I know that my other manuscript is good.  But I couldn’t waste time and complain about that fact that it wasn’t selling.  I had to do something. Hence, the next book.

Writer’s write.  If you don’t sell a book, move on, and write another one. And another one, and another one. Some of them will get published and some won’t.  My goal was always to just get published. And I’m so fortunate that I am.