Curl Up and Write » Unbeweaveable

Sam-I-Am

Trina — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Boy, you have to wear a few different hats with being a writer. For those of you who aspire to do this, let me tell you—it’s a lot of work! Tremendous! Promoting a book and revising another—did I mention how hard it is? I did? Well alrighty then… I love the creative side of writing—but the marketing side? Not so much. It reminds me of the hustle you had to have as a new hairstylist. You always had to be on point—hair done to perfection, hundreds of business cards in your purse inching to come out at a moment’s notice, (Why yes I do hair! Here’s my card…) Hustling like that is exhausting but when it’s all said and done it’s part of the business and you either accept it and thrive or wither away. I plan to thrive as long as I can and so I’m getting the word out about Unbeweaveable the best way I know how right now. I’m not on schedule with my revisions like I would like to be, but I have to let that go because I know over the next few months when things have died down I’ll be ready to send my book out to the world for critique. I’m cringing from the thought…

For those of you who remember, (and for those of you who don’t here’s the link) I was totally against all social media.

MySpace. No.

Facebook. You got to be kidding right?

Twitter. Which don’t you understand the N or the O?

I was against them all. All my writer friends, (you know who you are) kept telling me on the opportunities I was missing out on. I deemed Facebook a complete waste of time and for the life of me couldn’t figure out why so many writers were out there in cyberspace instead of writing.

I’ll tell you why. Writing my friends is a lonely business. On a typical day of doing hair I would talk to so many people, clients, product distributors, other stylists—the list goes on and on. Well now that I’m home with my four-year-old daughter, my day consists of Candy Land, Yo Gabba Gabba (There’s a party in my tummy, so yummy, so yummy!) and sitting in the sweltering heat while she rides on the sidewalk on her scooter. When a stranger asks me how I’m doing, I actually answer. “Well, today I’m thinking of cooking pork chops for dinner. My husband loves them. Although chicken would be great too…” I see their feet slowly back up as I continue to talk, until I realize that a simple, “Fine,” would have done nicely.

So now, *ahem* I…um…take it all back. Can I say that I love Facebook? That the people I’ve met, especially the writers, have been so supportive of me I’m at a loss for words.

For example, the lovely Cheri Paris Edwards, (Fabulous author. Her book, The Other Sister, will be in stores November 2010) posted a lovely review of Unbeweaveable on her blog. (Read it here.) Of her own volition. I mean, how cool is that? She reached out to me on Facebook and dare I say that I feel a friendship forming?

All of my old reasons for not being on Facebook are long behind me.

Time waster? I wish! I don’t have time to be on there long. And I don’t play games, (nothing against it, but have never been much of a video game kind of gal) so it’s pretty hard for me to waste time.

Addicting? Puh-leaze! I have always been good at self-discipline, (if you’re a writer you learn that pretty early) so I don’t know why I thought I would get addicted to it. Don’t get me wrong, it may be addicting for some, but for me everything has it’s limits. And that includes Facebook.

My lesson? Be flexible and willing to change. Be adaptable. And be humble enough to try new things. Dr. Seuss had it right all along, “I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you, Sam-I-am!”

The Sickled Cell

Trina — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:00:00 +0000

I suffer from sickle-cell anemia. I say suffer because if anyone knows anyone that has this disease, or is in anyway familiar with it—then they know that suffering is what it is. For those of you who don’t know what sickle cell is, it is an inherited form of anemia — a condition in which there aren’t enough healthy red blood cells to carry adequate oxygen throughout your body. Normally, your red blood cells are flexible and round, moving easily through your blood vessels. In sickle cell anemia, the red blood cells become rigid, sticky and are shaped like sickles or crescent moons. These irregularly shaped cells can get stuck in small blood vessels, which can slow or block blood flow and oxygen to parts of the body and cause extreme pain. They call these a painful event or a sickle-cell crisis.

I cannot describe the pain to you. The closest I can tell you is this—when I was having contractions with my daughter, I remember being hooked up to a monitor that would show me the contractions. My doctor came in the room and said, “Whoa, that’s a big one. You feel that?”

I didn’t. My back hurt, but I didn’t feel a contraction.

“Are you sure? You don’t feel any pain?”

I shook my head no.

She waited a few minutes until another contraction appeared—another big one, she said.

“What about now?”

“Nope. Nothing.”

The pain felt like an extremely mild sickle cell crisis—nothing like I thought it would be. Even after my c-section, I walked around normally.

“Is this what women complain about all the time? This isn’t painful.”

“Remember you have a higher tolerance for pain than most people. You are in a lot of pain, but you’re body has a found a way to cope with it because of your sickle-cell.”

Why am I talking about this now you ask? When I started my blog, I wondered how personal I would take it. To respect my family’s privacy, I won’t post pictures of my daughter (at least until she consents in me doing so) or talk much about the hubby. But having sickle-cell is one of the reasons I started writing in the first place, so yes I felt it was time to share my story.

Growing up with a chronic illness, your whole life is surrounded by getting sick.

“Don’t run like that, you could sick.”

“Bring a sweater with you so you don’t get sick.”

“Make sure you’re drinking enough water so you don’t get sick.”

You get the idea. I get sick. A lot. But more than the sickness, I felt the burden I was putting on my family at a very young age. I was nervous about making plans—What if I had to cancel because I got sick? With that burden, came an overwhelming sense of shame. It wasn’t technically my fault that we weren’t going to the mall, or the movies, or a friend’s party—but it was my fault. I saw the look that crossed my parents face when I was sick—the worry, the helplessness from not being able to take the pain away. I heard my mother’s tears in the night—causing my own tears. Why couldn’t my body be obedient and just for once be healthy? I didn’t want to be in pain but more than anything—I didn’t want to cause my family pain. I didn’t want to see the look of disappointment cross my siblings faces when Mama told them we couldn’t go somewhere because Trina was sick. Again.

So I began to hide it. I would hide the fact that I was sick, not telling a soul—pretending that I was fine, that I was normal.

But you can’t hide from your Mama. She said that she would be able to see it in my eyes. How?

“You smile, but it won’t reach your eyes. You’re in too much pain.”

Anger would flash in my belly, what did she know anyway? I’m not sick, I would chant—with added foot tap for emphasis. I was fine, I was fine, I was fine. Because if you chant something several times it makes it true. It was true for Dorothy, it would be true for me too. I couldn’t keep this up of course, my body rebelled and I became so sick I missed an entire grading period of school. Two months in bed with my mother nurturing me. Sickle cell wasn’t going anywhere, it wasn’t changing or getting better. But my attitude would have to.

I loved doing hair. I was great at it too, a natural talent people would say. When my mother suggested that I get my license in high school, I felt inflated. Finally, something I could do.

“But you have to find a back-up plan. You won’t be able to do it the rest of your life.”

Fine, fine I said. But at least I could do it now.

And I did. For over ten years, I stood behind a chair and did my best at making women look beautiful. My clients were understanding during my periods of hiatus when sickle cell took over, and I was thankful for their patience. Towards the end of my career, my body couldn’t take it anymore. I had a shampoo technician, I sat on a stool, I reduced my schedule—nothing would keep me healthy, every week I would be in a major sickle cell crisis. Then my husband said enough. I had to stop doing the thing I loved most, the thing that made me feel normal for the first time in my life. As hard as it was, I had to let it go.

But I have good parents. Great in fact. And they prepared me—years before when my sister dared me to write a book better than hers—they told me what a great idea writing would be.

“You can sit down Trina. You don’t have to leave the house when you write. It’s perfect.”

Nothing is perfect, but writing feels pretty doggone close. Styling hair defined me in a way it never should have. I was proud to say I was a hairstylist—before identifying myself as anything else that’s what I said first. It was a hard lesson learned when I had to give that identity up—the woman who saw split ends before a smile, who could spot a weave a mile away—who was I if not that woman? I was still Trina. And that’s why being a writer—as great as it is—is not what identifies me. I’m a wife, mother, lover of God, friend, sister—then, yes—I’m a writer.

I say all this to say that I’m over at Rainy Day Diva today talking about what else? Unbeweaveable. When the lovely Denise asked me why I transitioned from hairstyling to writing I decided to stop hiding. I have sickle cell anemia and that’s why I could no longer do hair. No shame, no regrets—it is what it is. And as unbeweaveable (pun intended) as it is, there are some perks to having sickle cell. If a malaria epidemic heads our way I can walk around fearless. That’s right folks, I have sickle cell but I won’t get malaria. Pretty good apples, right?

Click here to read the interview and go order your copy of Unbeweaveble now!

My Home Girl

Trina — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

I am cruising along in my revisions of my next novel. It’s hard to juggle both—writing a novel while you promote another—but no complaints here, ‘tis the life of a writer. How many revisions do I tackle in my novels? This is my first and I like to have at least three under my belt before I hand my book over to my reader, (hey Mama). Then after arguing on scenes she wants to chop and scenes I want to add, we finally come to an agreement. (Meaning, that I’m the author and I can write whatever I want, it’s my book, doggone it!) After that I plan to at least go over it two more times. Okay, so about five times. That’s my number and I’m sticking with it. Unless my Mama has anything to say about it…

Okay guys I’m over at the Home Girl Blog today run by the lovely Raquel. (Or Quel for short.) I love her on Twitter, and I love what a dedicated mother she is. She gives Unbeweaveable a great review and says that she didn’t want the book to end, which is always a writer’s dream. She’s also giving away a copy of Unbeweaveable so run over there and leave a comment for a chance to win a copy.

Okay, no more stalling—click here to read the interview!

Enough is Enough

Trina — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

I love weave. I really do. But sometimes even I, (gulp) think enough is enough. Like this video of a THREE YEAR OLD GIRL getting a hair weave. This is downright sad.

Why would ANYONE put a hair weave on a THREE YEAR OLD? It’s outrageous! My daughter cut off one of her ponytails last year, (she walked around for months with a bald spot in the back of her head. When I say she cut her ponytail off, she cut it off. Right under the rubber band.) Not ONCE did I think that I would just cover the spot with a hair weave. I cleverly hid her baldness as best as I could and she kept on stepping.

You guys know how much I love weave, but come on people—ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I’ve been rocking my real hair for a couple of weeks now and people are surprised at how lovely and thick it is. “Why were you wearing a weave with hair like that"? People ask me this question all the time, and truthfully I wore a weave because it helped advertise my business. I specialized in weave and I wanted to show prospective clients how good their hair could look with a weave. But I’m not a stylist anymore. *sigh* And the whole concept of Unbeweaveable is that Mariah had to learn to let go of her weave, to get back to the basics and find her inner beauty within and not depend on purchased locks. That’s the saddest part of all this, because after the hair is put in this little girl’s hair, (her name is Kayleigh by the way) she says she’s pretty now. Oh baby girl you were pretty before.

My daughter knows that longer hair doesn’t mean prettier hair, and that straighter hair does not a pretty girl make. C’mon guys, as much as I love weave healthy hair is cute at any age. This little girl didn’t need a weave. But what do you think? How young is too young for hair extensions?

Up, Up, and Away!

Trina — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:00:00 +0000

So it’s out. My second novel, Unbeweaveable is in stores and I’m surprisingly calm about the whole thing. With my first book Six O’clock, I lost sleep and went a little crazy worrying over how well the book would do. I promised myself, (and my hubby) that I wouldn’t do it this time around. So I’ve taken a whole different attitude with this book and decided that I would do the best I could pre-publication, but once it’s out of my hands, it’s literally out of my hands. I have no control over how Unbeweaveable will be received and I’m not going to cause any wrinkles by worrying about it.

Writing a book is like blowing air in a balloon. You blow, and blow, and blow—filling your lungs expand and contract as you blow life into this balloon—and once it’s all done you tie a string around the end and let it go. So folks Unbeweaveable is out there, flying around in a book store near you. I hope that it flies off the shelves and into your homes but I have no control over that. But you do don’t you? So don’t let my baby wander aimlessly in the sky alone. Pick her up and take her home and read her!
She’s worth it.

I’ll be stopping at a few blogs for the next couple of weeks. First on my stop? One of my favorite blogs ever, Hair on the Brain. One of the reasons why I love this blog so much is because it talks about all types of hair, African-American hair, Caucasian hair—the wonderful creator Valerie covers it all. This blog should definitely be added to your blog roll if you are a lover of hair tips, product reviews and cool interviews with celebrity hair stylists. But let me stop yapping and click here to check out the interview.

The Funnies

Trina — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 13:00:00 +0000

I love to laugh. I think most people do. Most of you guys know that I struggled this year with finding my voice as a writer and finally choosing the style of writing that fits me. I like to hit on serious issues in my books but I do like to tickle people’s funny bone and get a giggle out here and there. I used to feel bad about that, but not anymore. Making people laugh is a gift, and I plan to embrace it. That being said, I have a signed copy of Unbeweaveable to give away to the person who tells me the best joke. And keep it clean folks—no profanity or sexual connotations—just good, clean laughs.

The contest ends on Tuesday so get going! Make me laugh!

Sweat Off the Neck

Trina — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:00:00 +0000

It seems that there are a lot of ways to spell Unbeweaveable. It’s a spin on the word unbelievable—my main character Mariah is addicted to her weave and discovers an unbelievable family secret—hence the title, Unbeweaveable. I’ve always spelled Unbeweaveable adding the –e before the –able. But unbelievable doesn’t have the –e, so many have it spelled like this: Unbeweavable. Small hiccup I know but I don’t want any of you guys getting confused. Unbeweaveable, Unbeweavable—it’s the same book and as long as you’re out there purchasing a copy—which I’m sure many of you have already done, pre-order now!—I don’t care much about the spelling. As long as it’s correct on the book, which it is, then it doesn’t bother me.

I know what a boiled egg feels like. Every time I step outside my door I run into a brick wall of heat. It can get intensely hot in Houston—and that leave’s a Weavy Wonder like me to answer some of your hair care dilemma’s this summer to keep the sweat off your neck and keep you fierce in this boiling summer heat.

Bob It

The obvious thing to do would be to cut all your hair off. (A bald head means a cool head right?) But if you’re not up for a big chop, try a bob. It’s the look I plan to wear this summer and to make it carefree I plan to add tousled loose waves like Selma Hayek on the June issue of InStyle.

Ladies, a bob is classy, chic, cool—three adjectives I know most women are going for this summer. So obviously, to keep sweat off your neck this summer rock a shorter style. Afraid to go this short? Have your stylist fake it out by pinning the back up with bobby pins and have your layered hair hang over. Or go for a full fake-out with a sew-in weave. You can braid up your long locks and add shorter hair for an instant update to your look.

Pin It

I am loving Jada Pinkett’s hair lately! One of my favorite looks, (besides her flawless waves) is when she wears a ponytail.

Too simple, you say? No way! A ponytail highlights your cheekbones, your eyes, and if tight enough can take ten years off your face. (Insert laughter here.) But seriously, it’s the rare woman that can’t pull off the ponytail, so play with what works for you. The goal is to have attention brought to your beautiful face. Now who wouldn’t love that?

Braid It

Braids are many women’s go-to source to beat-the-heat-beauty. And why not? If done correctly they provide your real hair with a break and are extremely low maintenance. (I said low maintenance, not no maintenance! Every style will require a few things to keep it up.)

You can rock an elaborate corn-rowed look like Jill Scott; or wear a romantic up-do like Mary Kate Olsen. Either way you cut it, both looks scream summer style, just make sure your stylist is experienced with different braiding techniques.

So there it is folks, my way to beat the heat this summer. Sweat on the neck is never a cute thing, but trying new looks to beat it is always in style. Besides you need room to put the ice-pack on your neck—did I mention how hot it is outside?

Tweaks Here, Tweaks There

Trina — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 13:00:00 +0000

I worked on my novel while on vacation, and made huge discoveries about my characters. It’s great to be in the middle of revisions and your character reveals something about themselves. When Unbeweaveable is out then back to full time revision mode!

Notice anything different? Of course you do, my website has been updated! All thanks to my hubby. (Thanks, baby!) Expect little tweaks here and there over the next few weeks, but this is it, my new spanking website. I’ve added a Frequently Asked Questions tab, and you’d be surprised at how many people ask me how long my real hair is. (Long enough, thank you very much.) Some of the newer questions have to do with my mama—she’s gained in popularity on the blog for her ‘tell it like it is’ advice. (Which is fun when you’re a spectator, but if you’re the one on the receiving end? Not so much.)

Make sure you guys check out my Books page where I’ve added the first chapter of Unbeweaveable. Just a little taste to hold you until July 6th. Okay guys, it’s back to work but hang around and explore!

Guilty Train

Trina — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:00:00 +0000

On Chapter Four of revisions. Just Chapter Four? Well, I had to rewrite two chapters so I think that’s pretty good, doggone it! Okay, sorry for the tone, I plan to make up for it tomorrow. Butt in chair+laptop and typing=writing done. Oh, and I haven’t forgotten about your Unbeweavable stories! Thanks to all of you that have told me your stories about your weave experiences. Some of you guys really cracked me up! Stay tuned, I’ll post a new story soon. If you love your weave and want to share your story, go ahead and shoot me an email.

Being a stay-at-home mother can feel like you’re never doing enough.

When I’m writing I feel guilty that I’m not playing with my daughter. When I’m playing with my daughter, I’m looking at the clothes stacking up in the laundry and feel guilty that I’m not washing them. When I do finally get to the laundry I look at my flowers outside and feel guilty when I’m see a few drooping from being too dry. When I’m outside watering, I’m looking at my hands and feet and wondering when I’m going to take a few moments and treat myself to a manicure and pedicure. It’s like I’m riding a guilt train with no sign of getting off.

I cram so much into one day I would have to be superhuman to get it all done. So I’m getting off at the next station. No more guilt fests. My way out? A realistic evaluation of my priorities. Time to follow a schedule I can actually stick with, not planning every iota of my day—just giving each day a different priority.

So instead of a schedule like this:

7:00 am Wake up

7:10 am Begin breakfast.

7:30 am Feed daughter and eat.

It will look more like this:

Monday

~~Priority One: Laundry~~

~~Priority Two: Work with daughter on letters and numbers~~

Priority Three: Finish revision of Chapter Four

Tuesday

Priority One: Finish revision of Chapter Four

Priority Two: Get Groceries

Priority Three: Make dinner large enough to last two days.

I’ll give myself a very short list of priorities, (I’ve decided anything more than five is just too much. Not that I can’t do more than five things in a day—I just want to do more than five things in a day well, giving my best to each task instead of piling myself with too many things and slapping things together due to pure exhaustion.) and whatever I don’t finish the previous day becomes my top priority for the next day. I’ve only just started with this system but so far so good. As I’m working on marketing for Unbeweavable and revising my next book, I give them each the priority that they are due for that day.

It takes a lot to see your limitations and realize that you can’t do it all. I’m not superwoman. And I don’t feel guilty for admitting it.

It Ain’t Fair, But Then What Is?

Trina — Wed, 12 May 2010 13:00:00 +0000

When I think about all the marketing I’ve done for Unbeweavable (pre-order now!), I get dizzy. So much goes on behind the scenes that you guys don’t even get to see—until the book comes out. And the sad thing is, it’s hard to say what works and what doesn’t. As a hairstylist, my hair is a sign of my work. I rarely left the house without having my hair styled—I had business cards to pass out, doggone it! It’s pretty hard to do this as a writer. Imagine, me going up to someone and saying, “Excuse me ma’am, can I show you how to write a beautiful sentence describing the weather without using any adverbs? What do you mean no?” Yeah, pretty hard to do.

I’m so used to screaming from the rooftops, (or having my hair scream for me) “Hey, I do hair!” Now, I’m going around whispering, “Hey, do you like to read?” I’ve had to re-train my mind and work out different marketing strategies, seeing what’s worked (and what hasn’t) for me in the past, and seeing what works for other authors I admire.

Word-of-mouth is one of the targets that all authors are looking for. As a hairstylist, your hair is a symbol of how well you do hair. Get a few business cards printed, pass them out—and you’re on your way. If your work is good, then here come the referrals. With writing, it’s hard to figure out what generates word-of-mouth. I live in Houston, and for me, being a great hairstylist in Houston was enough. But as a writer, the word-of-mouth has to travel, across states–and for the fortunate ones–across countries.

And then there’s the budget. Most authors use most of their advance promoting their books. (Which is sort of like working at an office and having to provide your own pens, paper, computer…Not fair of course, but then what is?) Last go around with Six O’clock I spent ALL of my advance, (and then some) and I’m sorry to say that I didn’t see much results. If $5,000 gets you zero results, then what does, um, say $500 get you? Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m a newbie and have to develop my readers, but in what business model does the creative department also have control of the marketing department?

I guess what I have to say is, I love to write. I loved doing hair too, and the way to market myself and get more clients was to do what I loved—hair. It all went hand in hand. Now, I spend a year or more writing a book, and to market it I don’t use my writing talent, I use marketing skills that are sorely underdeveloped. I’m doing a few things differently with Unbeweavable, but only time will tell if it works out. Did I mention that you can pre-order now?